Confessions

Tee Shirt (Wearing a small)

I have not done a Confessions post in forever! This was one of my most requested post ideas yesterday from you guys besides A day in my life which I will work on! Ya’ll sent me hundreds of ideas so thank you!! I saved them all and will work on adding them in my regular rotation. Here are my confessions!

Lately I feel like I am having a hard time juggling it at all. My work, my kids and trying to have a social life and date on top of that, it is all pretty exhausting. Also as single parent it is really hard because you have zero help at home. I am thankful I have a busy and full life but I sometimes wonder how other people do it all and stay sane.

On that note I have major mom guilt when I have to leave my kids with a sitter. Even though logically I know they are with me the majority of the time and I deserve a break and it is good for them to see me have and build a life outside of them. I still always feel guilty.

Along with that my anxiety has been bad lately. I think when the future is unknown and mine feels unknown right now it drives my anxiety into overdrive.

I am struggling to discipline Sterling. He is so sassy and talks back often. No punishments seem to faze him. This is a trying age for me with him.

I am so excited about my cookbook but for the life of me I can’t sit down and focus on organizing the recipes. I have already paid a graphic designer to assemble it and make it look pretty so I need to get on it. I just feel like there is never anytime.

I am completely addicted to my hair extensions. I will probably never not have them -haha. As a girl with naturally thin hair it is so nice to have some thickness to it now. I know several of you asked for a post on the extensions so I will gladly do that.

I have a love hate relationship with my job. I love it because it allows me to work and take care of my kids and be creative and write about things that inspire me but I also feel the social media side of it can be draining sometimes. It can be hard not to compare your life to others. I have found for me focusing on gratitude and being thankful for what I do have helps!

Dating with kids is HARD. I know you guys want a post on dating and I am thinking about it because man I have some funny stories. I took a few months to focus on myself and have just been starting to date again. That being said I am so glad I am dating with kids because I have zero pressure to rush things. I know what I want and need in a partner and won’t settle. I have also learned to be brutally honest with people, no need to string someone along at this age.

I keep trying to meditate on a regular basis and just can’t. Probably because my mind hates to be still so I always put it off. But I really want to get in the habit of meditating everyday for at least 10 minutes. I think meditating is really good for people with anxious minds like myself. I actually did it last night right before bed and slept like rock. I think it helps clear my mind at night.

I have been seeing a therapist for a year now. I go every week and it has helped me so much dealing with my marriage ending and moving forward and being proud of who I am. I also have a bad tendency to blame myself for everything and harbor lots of self guilt so we are working hard on those issues. Matt and I went to couple’s therapy for a long time so I am no stranger to therapy but I have to say going solo and focusing on me has been so amazing. It is always nice to have someone listen and give you advice outside your family and friends. Never have any shame about working on and improving yourself!

Over the weekend I binge watched Working Moms and Friends from College on Netflix both are hilarious and so good.

I am pretty sure I will never have the body I want because of my love for wine- haha. I eat really clean most the time and pretty sure wine is the answer to losing my last 5 pounds:)

For months I have been trying to decide if we are going to sell our house and move or add on to it. I love my neighborhood and neighbors so much so I am torn about moving plus everything is so expensive here! It feels like such a huge life decision so I am keep stalling, but we met with a contractor last week and I think are moving towards an addition.

I am obsessed with Rock and Roll Tees- is it a mid life crisis trying to be hip and young- haha? Sterling told me yesterday he missed me in pretty blouses and dresses:)

Both of my kids love shark movies and scary movies. Like the creepiest movie preview will come on and they both will say they want to see it. I am like does this make my kid’s weird that they like scary stuff and shark attacks? On the other hand I hate those kind of movies!

I despise homework. Why is 3rd grade math so hard? They teach the kids how to do math such a backwards way now, nothing like how I learned to do it. Half of the time I just want to pull out my calculator and call it a day.

The kids are dying for a dog and while I would love a dog too I am just not sure I can handle the responsibility of a dog right now. I am on the go often and feel like it would be so hard to take care of a dog too.

I want to love intermittent fasting and I truly think it has great health benefits and curbs your appetite but man sometimes I just want to eat breakfast!!

That is all I have for today. Maybe I will make Confessions a regular series again!

35 Comments

  1. Lisa M.
    March 5, 2019 / 3:05 pm

    Hi, Natalie. I was a single mom for years when my kids were young and totally had the mom guilt. Guilt for getting a divorce, guilt for leaving them to go do things, soooo many things!!! I too had a strong willed child that challenged me everyday. Your kids’ dad just remarried so they are going through a big adjustment. Just stay strong and steady! Kids need boundaries and they need consistency! My dating life wasn’t great when they were younger, and I just got remarried after 12 years of being single, but it took that time for me to be happy with me and to also realize just exactly what I was looking for in a life partner, and I found the right one!!!
    I’m not saying it will take you 12 years, but don’t rush it. I am a huge proponent of therapy and that helped me so much! Self help is always a good thing.

  2. Jen
    March 5, 2019 / 3:13 pm

    Loved this! And totally agree about 3rd grade math being so hard, lol!

  3. Susan
    March 5, 2019 / 3:21 pm

    Love these posts! You are doing a great job!

  4. Elizabeth
    March 5, 2019 / 3:26 pm

    You are hilarious and I adore you! I hope you realize we all struggle to keep it together. Work, kids, aging parents, and for you dating and third grade math. We need wine! I have a regular yoga and meditation practice and I still need wine. By the way, don’t pressure yourself to meditate. Just welcome the opportunity whenever you can. And start small. Ten minutes is probably waaaaaay too long for you. I’d start with three and work up from there.

  5. Abby
    March 5, 2019 / 3:29 pm

    I’m trying to loosely follow the FWTFL program and sometimes struggle missing breakfast too. One thing that has helped me is making BFD (breakfast for dinner). I had gotten on a huge kick of making TJ’s cauliflower gnocchi with eggs and parmesan cheese for breakfast and I MISS it. So, now I just eat that for dinner sometimes. Just a thought (it doesn’t replace breakfast, but it does help!)…

  6. Kerrie L Kreisher
    March 5, 2019 / 3:56 pm

    I, too, struggle badly with Mom-Guilt. I think it got worse as my daughter (now 13 years old) got older and was able to stay at home by herself more often. I have been dating a man for over 8 years and he loves to go out to fancy restaurants that my daughter just doesn’t want to go to. So we end up leaving her at home, which she is fine with, it’s just I feel so guilty. Like I’m leaving her out of my life. I did grow up with a stay-at-home Mom and her Mom was a stay-at-home mom, so I feel the pressure of being “It all.”

  7. Angie
    March 5, 2019 / 4:03 pm

    Discipline is tough. The only thing that works with my 6 year old is literally taking away every toy and book and making him just sit in his room and earning things back. I hate doing it but it improves his behavior. It feels like a punishment for me too! If you have great neighbors and stuff I’d just stay in your home. It’s so hard to find that!

  8. Lori J
    March 5, 2019 / 4:21 pm

    Your blog is always my first and favorite to read because I respect and love how you keep it real. That is what I’m looking for and needing. I enjoy all the posts but to know you’re a “real” person and have struggles just like all of u, makes me like you even more! I found your blog years ago, and have been a bigger fan the last few years! thank you!

  9. To i :0)
    March 5, 2019 / 4:24 pm

    This was a fun post. I hated helping my son with math. We got nowhere and enrolled him in Kumon in 4th grade for four years. Helped him so much. He’s 20 now and is doing well in college. My daughter just always got math and I’ve never helped her. Now she’s 15 and taking Honors Geometry and there’s no way I’m of help now. She’s in Honors Chemistry and I have no idea what or how she does that either! LOL How exciting about the addition. I didn’t think you could ever leave your terrific neighbors. Hang in there, we all struggle with something so you are not alone. Just breathe and take one day at a time, that’s all you can do.

  10. Katie Macsherry
    March 5, 2019 / 4:26 pm

    You cannot leave your neighbors. We all dream of bigger homes but you can’t put a price on the magnitude that is your neighbors. I know because I have very similar neighbors. Like family. Like keeping me sane every single day. No big house will ever hold a candle to that.

    Wine is necessary.

  11. Tammy
    March 5, 2019 / 4:26 pm

    that wassuch a GREAT post!!!!! I feel how you feel on all you wrote. Thanks so much!

  12. Kai
    March 5, 2019 / 4:41 pm

    This is so real! Which I love. It feels like bloggers have really put up a rose colored front, thinking we don’t want to see the reality of their lives – good and bad – but we do! It’s comforting to see other people struggle with what you struggle with.

  13. Jamie Feisal
    March 5, 2019 / 4:44 pm

    My daughter is the same age as Sterling…..send help!! Or lots of wine! I confessed to a friend the other day this has most definitely been my least favorite age!!!!!!

  14. Tam
    March 5, 2019 / 4:57 pm

    I have been reading your blog every day for so long…I truly enjoy it. It’s like you’re speaking directly to me today. Being a single mom, putting my house on the market, a VERY defiant almost 9 year old boy, mom guilt every day. Feel like I’m letting him down, doing a horrible job raising him. It is so hard being a mom. The toughest job ever. Thank you for posting and keeping it real!

  15. Kate G
    March 5, 2019 / 5:28 pm

    LOVED this post! You are an awesome mom- juggling a ton! I am so impressed by you. Keep up the good work 🙂

  16. Mary Jordan
    March 5, 2019 / 5:34 pm

    Love reading your blog! I remodeled my 1954 ranch in Mount Pleasant, and I used Mike Eippert https://commonwealthcontractingllc.com/. Compared to someone [terrible] I used around 2003 for the same house, Mike did an unbelievably amazing job, and I highly recommend him. You may want to check him out. I originally found him on Angie’s List. Good luck!

  17. Kelly
    March 5, 2019 / 5:43 pm

    Love this post! Make it a regular feature on the blog. Yes, I agree on math……

  18. March 5, 2019 / 6:15 pm

    We are literally the same person. haha! Only difference is that after my divorce I immediately rushed into a relationship and we are still together and I’m just not so sure its the right fit anymore. I wish I would have had more time with just the kids and I but I struggled with the lonliness. My son is 8 and he is much like Sterling. He is very artistic and into things the other boys just aren’t. My daughter is 6 and much like Frances. A sweet baby girl with a wild streak. You are writing a cook book and I have a meal-prepping business. So many similarities. And I hate the way they teach math now!!! So frustrating!

  19. March 5, 2019 / 6:23 pm

    I love this post and all your posts, but I love your honesty and your way of sharing what you are going through, but putting a positive spin on your life. Being a mom is hard, but so fulfilling, thanks for sharing your family with us.

  20. March 5, 2019 / 8:13 pm

    I don’t know why but my gut was telling me to recommend this book to you. It seems like it’s about dating, and it is, but mostly it’s about taking care of your spirit.

    https://www.amazon.com/Psychic-Deborah-Grahams-Attracting-Keeping/dp/0757321461

    Hope it’s useful! Thank you for being transparent and real. It’s nice to read these kinds of things – makes me feel like “having it together” isn’t as important as laughing with my friends. <3

  21. Emily
    March 5, 2019 / 8:27 pm

    Absolutely loved this post! I’m a stay at home mom of three and my husband travels 4-5 days each week, which leaves me with three kids, a dog, a house, etc. I have anxiety/ mom guilt about being the best mom for each of my kids. It’s hard to find balance when it’s all on you for everything. Some days, it’s pjs and playtime all day because I’m exhausted trying to balance it all. Anyway, I really appreciated this post. This last week was especially trying and I sometimes felt isolated even with the kids around. I’ve been reaching out and building relationships with my neighbors recently and they have been so helpful. So I’m glad you’re going to stay in your neighborhood and do the addition. People make all difference! Hugs and happy Tuesday!

  22. Christine
    March 5, 2019 / 9:08 pm

    3 words on the dog. don’t do it

  23. B
    March 5, 2019 / 9:26 pm

    I love the confessions post. How brave to be so open and honest. I have the feeling of not being able to do it all as well, especially recently since my position went from a full-time office to a full-time work from home with more travel. It has been hard to make this adjustment, when I wasn’t in the home I could ignore the mess that was there and deal with it when I was at home off work. Now I feel like I am constantly working, cleaning and cooking without every accomplishing anything … talk about frustrating. I am curious how things are going with being a single mom. We went through a rough patch but currently we are working it out. I know how difficult that has to be to always have to be and do everything. If you love where you live I would try and stay there as well as long as the addition is within your budget and what you want your house to be.

  24. Jennings
    March 6, 2019 / 12:12 am

    I simply loved reading this! Thank you for putting yourself out there truly! Surround yourself with friends. Your awesome!

  25. Jen
    March 6, 2019 / 12:51 am

    I love the confession posts! They are always my favorite. On getting a dog, there are lots of breed specific rescues (I know Sterling likes pugs 🙂 you could try to foster a dog from them to see about how much responsibility they are. Most of these dogs are also adults so you won’t have to deal with puppy puppy stage.

  26. kelly francis
    March 6, 2019 / 12:54 am

    What a great and brave post. Love your blog and have read it for years.

    As a mom of three kids my advice is to be STRONG and consistent with Sterling. It is SO hard! Parenting really sucks sometimes. Take away privileges……iPads, tv time etc. Oh it really hits home when kids see their siblings get a privilege that they are not…such as a treat on the weekend. But warn ahead of time and then follow thru with the punishment. For example…”if you continue to be disrespectful to me you will not receive any treats this weekend when we are out.” The kids freak out when the time comes for the treat and they dont get it! but it creates a lasting impression.

  27. Dabney Morris
    March 6, 2019 / 2:08 am

    Your blog has always been my favorite since I started reading it back when you were pregnant with Frances Moon. I love turning to your first every day because you are so real! You have so much going for you but you are open and honest and that draws people to you. I tell all my friends about your blog and we all love you! Hang in there. And know that from the outside looking in, you are doing a wonderful job of being an awesome mom, a terrific blogger and a generally beautiful person!

  28. Carol
    March 6, 2019 / 1:48 pm

    ♡♡♡great post♡♡♡

    ■You think you are anxious now…wait until you add total responsibility of a dog to the mix. Agree with above…do.not.do.it.

    ■What part does the EX play in discipline? Do you confer with each other about the problems you are having with Stirling?

    ■Are the children getting therapy as well? A parent leaving the home,particularly at their young age can have long term effects. Both my sisters had big trust and abandonment issues well into their lives as a result of my parents divorce.
    ■I didn’t date for 6 years…I needed to spend time on my life and career.(very difficult but worth it)
    ■I never…ever introduced a date to my children..until I met my husband to be.

    ■blogging must be a lonely business in many ways
    Keep on keeping on!

  29. March 6, 2019 / 3:18 pm

    LOVE this post and all of your honesty! Avery is just a tiny bit older than Sterling and is exactly.the.same.way. WHY is there so much attitude and no fear of consequences? I guess that is why we have wine 😉 Definitely add on to your house, mostly because I selfishly love your design style and want to see what you do with it!

  30. March 6, 2019 / 7:00 pm

    Natalie,
    Absolutely love your blog and I’m seventy years old! Love all your skincare products tips. Your mother looks amazing and maybe you might write one blog for older women and skincare and fashion ideas. Your mom could help! I know we are not your audience but maybe one might not turn your readers off!
    Susan

  31. Valerie
    March 7, 2019 / 11:52 am

    Love this and you ❤️❤️❤️

  32. Jess K
    March 9, 2019 / 9:12 pm

    Love this post! The math comment made me think Danica McKellar’s books, I recently listened to a podcast she was on and she mentioned that in some of her math books, she gives tips for parents who aren’t used to the ‘new’ way that math is being taught! Perhaps could be helpful!?

  33. Lisa Marie
    March 13, 2019 / 8:21 pm

    Glad you are in therapy, it’s the best thing I have ever done for myself. As for couples therapy, I have never know ONE couple who went to couples therapy who didn’t end up getting divorced anyway.

  34. Dixie
    March 14, 2019 / 4:57 pm

    You do soooo much and look great. You know, forget about the intermittent fasting. Every few years new fads come and go. I would get anxiety just trying to do all you do and then deciding WHEN to eat. It has nothing to do with when you eat, even though the people who follow this (is it called something like FWTL) say it works, shows pictures etc. If you eat what they do, not when then no wonder they have lost weight. I have talked to MANY doctors and dietitians and it is foolish waste of money. I am so amazed how you cook such wonderful meals, do your blog and on and on. Hang in there and remember calories in are what count.

  35. March 15, 2019 / 5:28 pm

    I want to be the one vote for GET A DOG! Though, fostering, or even dog-sitting, can be useful to get the vibe if you haven’t had one- or to put off owning your own! I knew a neighbor who hired her tween out for after school dog walking to gauge how helpful her kids might be for any actual pet care – and made them donate their earning to the shelter. As a kiddo, my dog was the only one I’d talk to about anything that upset me.

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