I See You 2019

I always love the start of a New Year. It feels like a fresh start and like anything is possible. I have to be honest I was glad to see 2018 go, and say Bye Felicia. While it was a year filled with many blessings it was also a difficult year for me. I realize without going through hard times you can’t get through to true happiness and light but sometimes when you are in the depths of it, it can feel really, really lonely and never ending.

In 2018 my divorce was finalized in April, a few months later I ended a year long relationship, and Matt (the kid’s Dad) got remarried. I know everyone has their own struggles and battles but to me these events were tough, as was the timing of them. I know without a doubt God has a plan for me (and all of us) but sometimes it is hard to see it when you are hurt and sad. I thought I would never come out of the darkness, seriously it felt never ending. But I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. I stayed busy. I did things I enjoyed. I worked on myself. I started running again, read lots of self help books, talked to a therapist and spent time with my girlfriends. All things that made me happy and helped my journey.

Truth be told I was terrified to be alone but after a few months of being on my own I can truly say it was what I needed the most without a doubt. I needed time to focus on just me and healing and making myself whole again. I needed time to mourn two relationships that I knew needed to end but still came with lots of heavy emotions and baggage. I also needed time to focus just on my kids. The divorce and remarriage was a lot for them to handle and they needed me more than anything. God had a plan to make me stronger and wiser and to not repeat the past and go down the same path again. It took a lot of heartbreak and soul searching but as I embark on the first few days of 2019 I am happier and lighter than I have ever been.

For anyone going through tough times just know it is not permanent Everyday my Dad would send me positive quotes to keep me inspired. They helped my mindset so much. Your mental state and how you think makes such a big difference. Everyday I would wake up and think of the things in my life I was grateful for not things I was missing. True happiness comes from within. If you can’t be happy and love yourself it will be hard for anyone else too. For so long I was looking to others to bring me happiness and build me up- a job that ultimately belonged to me.

I have learned you can’t control all circumstances. I have learned overthinking and analyzing things is the devil – it will literally make you crazy. Sometimes you have to just accept the situation as what it is and move on. Self love and self care is so important. It is ok to be sad and shed some tears we have to go through these emotions to heal and become whole again. The sadness won’t last forever even if it feels like it will. Gratitude changes everything. Comparing your life to others is a waste of time and will never bring you happiness. Faith and prayers are game changers. Patience is one of the most important virtues. It takes time but you can train your mind to think more positively. It may be hard but sometimes you have to purge negative people from your life, you will never stay on top and be happy with non supportive people bringing you down,

I am not a huge resolutions person for the New Year I feel like it kind of sets you up for failure if you don’t follow them all. But I do have a few things I want to focus on and change:

Be more present with my children. This is a huge struggle for me. I am always busy, texting, checking emails, talking on the phone, doing a million things at once and I have a hard time unplugging and just being with them. That is my main goal this year because they are growing up so fast and I don’t want to miss these sweet moments. Soon enough they will not even want to hang out with me.

I want to start my cookbook. I have no idea where to begin and it seems so daunting to me but it is a BIG dream and I want to follow through on it.

I want to grow my blog and bring you guys more content that you want to read and see. I have a list of several companies I really hope to partner with this year.

I want to really focus on being consistent with exercise. I go through phases and will do it everyday for months and then just stop cold turkey. I want to focus on strength training and toning up. I want to do at least 3 times every week.

I want to do more for others. I want to show my children how to volunteer and help others.

I want to find a new church to join and attend it regularly.

I want to spend more time meditating and doing yoga. Things that are good for my soul.

I want to travel more and take more spontaneous trips. Being a single mom and traveling solo with two kids is not a walk in the park but I want to do more of that with Sterling and Frances Moon and also take trips with friends.

I want to declutter majorly. I want to purge every room in our house and donate the items.

I also want to thank each and everyone of you for following our journey and reading my blog. Your support means everything and I could not do it without all of you . This blogging community is pretty amazing, I love the relationships it has helped me to build. I feel like we all are friends and it is a great place to empower women. I share snippets of my personal life so people know it is not perfect. Instagram and blogs have a way of making everything look picture perfect and that could not be further from the case. Life is hard and everyone has battles and struggles they deal with. If I can help one person feel better by sharing my story then that makes me happy. It is always nice to know you are not alone, we all have issues and problems but how you handle them is key!

I hope everyone has a wonderful start to 2019. I have feeling it is going to be a magical year. I will leave you with a few of my favorite quotes.

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33 Comments

  1. Jess
    January 4, 2019 / 1:56 pm

    You are incredibly strong — never doubt that! Thanks for sharing your personal stories. It’s very touching and, as you mentioned, brings realness to the social media “filters” that so many people use to make life look perfect. Keep on doing what you are doing — being a rock star mom and a driven woman. You’re doing great! 🙂

  2. Lauren L
    January 4, 2019 / 2:12 pm

    Thank you for your honesty!! Such an uplifting read and exactly what I needed to see this morning. You are one of my favorite bloggers because you continue to be so real. I wish many blessings to you and your sweet family in 2019!

  3. Liz
    January 4, 2019 / 2:17 pm

    I love how you show us it’s not all rainbows and roses. That’s the REAL stuff and why you have a dedicated following of ‘friends’. xoxo

  4. Denise Olsen
    January 4, 2019 / 2:18 pm

    Thank you for your honest post! I am sorry that you had to endure all that. You are a strong woman and hope good things for you in 2019!

  5. Lauren
    January 4, 2019 / 2:22 pm

    Natalie, what a beautiful, gut wrenching post. Thank you for sharing and for your honesty. You’re an incredible mom and human. Write that cookbook girl! I could use a good one!

  6. Sarah
    January 4, 2019 / 2:28 pm

    You are one blogger I must read everyday because I absolutely your realness compared to others! You are an amazing inspiration and I look forward to reading more of your posts in 2019 and beyond 🙂

  7. Lori
    January 4, 2019 / 3:29 pm

    I hope you have the best year yet, Natalie! God bless!

  8. Stacy
    January 4, 2019 / 3:37 pm

    Can I make a suggestion, and please do not take this the wrong way, and I understand if you don’t publish this, but please change the name of your blog. 2019 seems like the year of a new Natalie, which I am excited to see! But a blog with the name, “Dirty Diapers” just doesn’t sound appealing and it’s not who you are. You are embarking on a new path in life, so a re brand just makes sense!

    • Maike
      January 7, 2019 / 6:56 pm

      Totally agree! Especially since your kids aren’t in diapers anymore!

  9. January 4, 2019 / 3:48 pm

    Love this post! And so happy to hear how happy you are! 2019 is your year! You deserve it all! xx

  10. Lauren
    January 4, 2019 / 3:48 pm

    I love how you are so transparent about your journey and always look for the positive. I have used lots of your recipes and I am so excited for you to do a cookbook. Your enchiladas and Mexican Caesar salad are a family favorite! Best wishes in 2019!

  11. Shauna
    January 4, 2019 / 4:40 pm

    I enjoy following your blog…you should do a cookbook, I like reading your recipes! Best wishes for a blessed 2019!

  12. Marie
    January 4, 2019 / 5:04 pm

    If not for posts like this, it would be easy to assume your life is perfect; you and your kids are gorgeous, your wardrobe is enviable, your social life looks full and fun. Thanks for the reminder that even those who seem to have it all together all the time (at least via social media) probably don’t – since none of us do! It’s so much more real and relate-able when bloggers share not just the great stuff but the hard stuff too. That said, I hope your 2019 is full of many more ups than downs!

  13. Katherine
    January 4, 2019 / 5:30 pm

    I so appreciate your “realness” and willingness to share–the happy, the challenging, the hurt, the joy. Wishing you a year of contentment!

  14. Angie
    January 4, 2019 / 6:15 pm

    I always appreciate when bloggers are real life can be beautiful and messy and wonderful. Here’s to a great 2019!

  15. Toni :0)
    January 4, 2019 / 6:18 pm

    Sorry last year was so rough. Hard things do make you stronger. Your kids are so blessed to have you as their Momma. Thanks for being real and honest. You are refreshing. Cheers to 2019 and good luck with that cookbook cause YOU know how to cook, some other bloggers who have cookbooks out there do not. You got this! ☺️

  16. Julia
    January 4, 2019 / 6:18 pm

    I adore you! I’ve read your blog since before you were pregnant with Frances and you just get better and better. Write that cookbook! I’ll be first in line behind your family to buy it!

  17. Audrey Murillo
    January 4, 2019 / 6:54 pm

    I love that you are so open in this post: thanks for sharing with all of us. And what I love even more is that all your goals for this year start with “I want” and not “I need”: do what you WANT, get little bits of joy everywhere along the way and come out happier than ever before. May 2019 be magnificent! Onward and upward…

  18. Kris
    January 4, 2019 / 7:58 pm

    Thank you for your candor and honesty- I’ve been following since right before FM (and had a baby shortly after), so I’ve enjoyed watching your kids grow and change. I wish you nothing but the best in 2019 and PLEASE write that cookbook b/c you are crazy talented, girl.

  19. Susanna
    January 4, 2019 / 9:03 pm

    “If I can help one person feel better by sharing my story then that makes me happy. It is always nice to know you are not alone, we all have issues and problems but how you handle them is key!” Done. Our stories are similar and some days it all just gets the better of me, despite my best efforts to not let that happen. Today happens to be one of those days and your words really have made me feel better and less alone. Thank you, I love reading your blog. Happy 2019!

  20. Katie
    January 4, 2019 / 9:03 pm

    I usually never comment on blog posts but wanted to thank you for sharing. Your blog is the first one I read everyday and really enjoy all you have to share (especially your fashion and recipes!). I feel like a lot of the blogs I used to follow aren’t as interesting anymore so really appreciate your content and for being real with your readers. Hope you have a wonderful year and are able to publish that cookbook. I know it will be great!

  21. Lisa
    January 4, 2019 / 10:54 pm

    I just want you to know what an influence you are. My married daughter and I both follow you and we use your recipes, but your clothing picks, and talk a lot about the things you share. Never doubt that you are where you should be, doing what you are called to do… and read Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. It will change your mind about that cookbook!!!

  22. January 5, 2019 / 12:30 am

    natalie bless you please know that God places and removes peoples in our lives for a purpose we all have a story
    and I feel we are all connected in some way. Things happen for a reason and sometimes we may never know why.
    Finding a good church family helps and finding faith caries us through we all have to belief. we all have a purpose
    and a race to be won just do the best you can and never feel that you have failed .LOVE YOUR BLOG FROM A GRAMMA who loves youth and all you have to offer to this life know you are loved and have a daily purpose
    never give up you got this girl!!!

  23. Liz
    January 5, 2019 / 1:04 am

    Thank you for your honesty. It is really refreshing. I wish you all the best.

  24. Molly
    January 5, 2019 / 2:50 am

    Always my favorite blog to read because you are so authentic and real. Please keep up your amazing posts in 2019, wishing you a wonderful new year!

  25. Jamie
    January 5, 2019 / 2:44 pm

    This is exactly why I love your blog! I follow a plethora of bloggers yet I only frequent two or three on a daily basis. I can relate to your journey (been there, done that.) I love your Amazon purchases, Trader Joes finds and just your small everyday discoveries! It is the small things in life that make us happy not the designer handbags and expensive labels (granted I DO like them) but I know they are not lasting. I can tell you have it all figured out. I also came to the revelation that overthinking things is detrimental. Being a single mom if you thought about everything you had to do it would be just too overwhelming. I decided NO thinking, just doing. God has a plan in mind so there is no use in wasting your energy for something that is already in the works! YOU ARE TAKEN CARE OF and will look back one day and know that this is TRUE.

  26. CHelsea
    January 6, 2019 / 12:58 am

    You are so strong girl!! God has a fabulous plan for you

  27. Regan
    January 6, 2019 / 7:11 pm

    Natalie, hang in there! You are doing great with all of these very real challenges. Love your blog and know everything will work out for you. Thank you for having the courage to put yourself out there and please know you will help others in doing so. Best wishes to you and your family in the new year!

  28. Mimi
    January 8, 2019 / 4:00 am

    Hi Natalie,
    I just forwarded this post to my daughter’s best friend, who has shared many of your experiences. I think your words will encourage her. Like you, she’s a trooper and wants to help other undergoing similar plights. Thank you.

  29. Sarah
    January 8, 2019 / 8:42 pm

    Needed to read this today…thank you so much for sharing your journey, the good, the bad and the ugly with all of us. It’s truly inspiring to watch you handle everything you have gone through with such grace.
    Inspired by you to make 2019 my best year yet!

  30. Tracey
    January 9, 2019 / 1:00 am

    I am so looking forward to your cookbook – love your recipes!

  31. Katie
    January 9, 2019 / 3:11 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing! 2018 was a tough year for me mentally as well, and I’m learning how to refocus on myself, find things that bring me joy, and stay active & busy (and mostly stop the overthinking & worry!). Your post resonated with me so much. I don’t have much time to read many blogs these days, but yours is one I consistently follow. Keep doing what you are doing! All the best for a great 2019!

  32. Alison
    January 12, 2019 / 4:59 pm

    Natalie,

    This is the content we love! I mean, I totally enjoy all your fashion, food, and lifestyle advice but this just hit home. Yes, we ALL struggle. Some of just hide it better than others. Your bravery in being genuine and real is inspiring. I can tell you strive to make yourself better and that motivates me to do the same. I am realizing that I am living more in the past or fearing the future when I need to enjoy my blessing in the now. I feel like we are friends and it’s nice to know you feel the same! And girl, write that cookbook! I can’t wait to have all your gorgeous recipes in my hands!
    Alison

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