I know I mentioned before but I frequently have a hard time falling asleep at night. I am also a light sleeper, the lightest noise like the dog snoring or a whimper from Frances will wake me right up. I am pretty sure before kids I slept like a baby (or a man) but honestly I can’t even remember now. These days my mind wonders like crazy before bed and thinks the most random thoughts. The longer it takes me to fall asleep, the more on edge I get counting exactly how many hours of sleep I can actually get if I fall asleep at that exact moment before the kids wake up.
This week I decided to make a list of everything that runs thru my mind at night before I fall asleep. It’s pretty random what I think about, is this normal haha????
I actually kept a pad of paper beside my bed and wrote down these thoughts, they are real. Indulge me and share what goes thru your mind before bed.
– Are the kids ok? I hope they are still breathing. I should go check on them and make sure they are ok – and I always do this and get out of bed and check them once more to ease my mind.
– Is that nightlight in Sterling’s room going to start a fire? I should go turn it off now that he is alseep.
-Death. I frequently think about death before I fall asleep, especially my parents. I am terrified of them dying. I actually have been talking to a therapist about this death scares me so much. The fear of the unknown keeps me up at night but I know death is the one certainty in life.
– I should have worked out today, why didn’t I work out? My stomach is flabby and vacation is 3 months away. I need to get my shit together and tighten up this body. I should set my alarm and get up tomorrow morning and run. I then pull out my phone and set an alarm, which I then snooze thru the next day, everyday.
– Was I a good mom today? I shouldn’t have raised my voice at Sterling or let him eat two Uncrustables. They are so bad for him but he loves them so much. I should tell my kids I love them more and be in the moment. I will do that tomorrow…..
– Is that weird ache in my armpit cancer? I have had it for months now. Must be something serious. I should google arm pit cancer symptoms.
– What is that weird twinge in my head? I hope its not brain cancer. I should google symptoms.
– Should I wash my hair in the morning? Lets see if it smells. Sniff hair, not too bad maybe some Oribe texturzing spray and I can skip washing it again in the morning.
– Are the doors locked, cars locked, and flood lights on? Was that a noise I heard outside?
– What is a cronut? Do they even sell those in Charleston? Where can I find one to try?
– My to-do list for the next day.
– Is that Matt snoring already? Of course he fell asleep in two seconds and now I won’t be able to fall asleep with his snores.
– I should tell Matt I love him more.
– terror attacks and the world our kids will grow up in.
– Is Adam Levine really happy with Behati? I wonder what would happen if I ever met him in person. Man I love his new song Sugar.
– What should I eat for breakfast tomorrow? Avocado toast? No, too burned out on that. Cereal, no too many carbs and processed. Eggs? Maybe.
– Should I check on the kids one more time?
– I forgot to switch the laundry again. I hope it doesn’t smell like mildew tomorrow.
– Wonder whats happening on instagram? I should check right now since I’m about to fall asleep.
Lay it on me, do you fall right asleep? and if not what do you think about?